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11 January 2009 @ 08:57 pm
number five.  
with every single blessing that comes into our lives is the constant reminder that you can never really have everything all at once. i feel foolish for having even thought for a second that i'd be so lucky to have advanced my career and found love at the same time. perhaps i may have been too lucky.

i still find it hard to believe what transpired between me and zel. and why it transgressed from spending time together to ending it with several text messages. but as always, i will leave everything as it is with no regrets whatsoever. i gave this my 100% as i always do with anything. i can't say the same for her, but she still is special to me and will always be. i don't want to end up pitying andrez for not having a father figure around, but unfortunately that isn't my decision to make. no matter how much i am fond of the little boy, no matter how strong my feelings are for zel, i will now have to settle for keeping myself and my feelings from a distance.

this has been the first weekend i've spent outside since october. i'm still trying to absorb all these things going on around me. cesar's wedding, coinciding with zel's birthday, is this coming saturday. i haven't had alcohol in my body in months, and before this week, the last time was in metrowalk with my sister and cousins celebrating miguel's arrival. last wednesday, nursing yet another broken heart, i decided to drink a bit with my new reps. jonnee joined us. yesterday, after work, i had another go with the same group, minus jonnee. ron, pat, and basti were on hand. later in the evening i attended my sister's birthday with more red horse and few shots of vodka.

earlier today i had my fifth tattoo done here in pasig - a naked angel on my right arm just below where aj's name is. it was a long, ardous, pain-filled session. i'm pleased with the final result though, but i don't think i'll be getting my sixth anytime soon.

busy week ahead.